Three bangs for the Fourth

Some items from the mid-Aughts, some new ones. Let's start with a few neologisms.

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Oneiroplasty: Create your dreams. (JS)

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Dysmenorah: Crankiness during Hanukkah. (JS)

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These quotas are so arbitricial. (Arbitrary x artificial; JS 2011-1-13)

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Delorious (delightful x glorious; JS 2004-6-26)

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Glorgeous (glorious x gorgeous; JS 2004-7-24)

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Indicement (inducement x enticement; DJ on Radio Free Santa Fe)

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De-furred gratification. (JS, on the Shed-Ender 2006 for removing thatch from cats)

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Nobody knows you're a dog, on the Internet. (Thaddeus Bejnar)

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If there's a “Lighthouse for the blind,”, how come there isn't a “Foghorn for the deaf”? (Richard LeRoy)

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That's just icing on the gravy. (Richard LeRoy)

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Gotta watch both ends at the same time. (Thumper, to Bambi, on the ice)

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That Achy-Breaky song has turned country and western music into an ass-wiggling contest. (Waylon Jennings)

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Excuses and rarblizations [sic]. (Bad TV closed caption, probably for “rationalizations”.)

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“When I grow up, I want to be a musician.”

“Son, you can't do both.” (Anon., from the Christian Science Monitor)

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I dare you to make less sense! (Hank Venture)

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Done there, been that. (Joe Martinic)

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I've got things to place and goes to be! (JS, 2010-12-27)

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Talk to the booty, 'cause the hand's off duty! (Pat Buckley's 9-year-old grandson)

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We had to clean out the plastic dinosaur tray at Walmart. (Pat Buckley on entertaining grandchildren)

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Did you hear about the Amish woman who went wrong? She wanted two, Mennonite.

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Loan Sum Pawn (now-closed hock shop in Belen, NM)

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I've seen that look on his face before, but not at the table. (Woman who wishes to remain anonymous; of her husband; at Denver's Rioja restaurant; I've been there, the food is really that good.)

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Roger Melone: Is this tempo too fast for the clarinet?

Clarinetist: It's also difficult for the player.

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Atheism is a religion like not collecting stamps is a hobby. (Anon.)

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The Information Technology degree is for people who can't program but want to control the computers because there is money and power involved. (Pat Buckley)

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Real programmers can write in FORTRAN no matter what language they are using. (Pat Buckley)

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If your program is long enough to need a subroutine, Perl is the wrong language. (Brian Truitt)

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Being really good at C++ is like being really good at using rocks to sharpen sticks. (Thant Tessman, via Bill Weiss)

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A true friend will stab you in the front. (Oscar Wilde)

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That's the best one of that kind I never saw before in my life. (Bob Eveleth)

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Quantum mechanics: The dreams that stuff are made of. (Bumper sticker)

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Schroedinger's Cat: Wanted dead or alive!

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In the ballet of life, some people are the dancing potatoes. (JS 2010-12-8)

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Ormolu Cummerbund (band name, JS, Dec. 2010)

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There are only two tragedies in life. One is not getting what you want. The other is getting it. (Oscar Wilde; found on a gravestone in the Eunice, NM, cemetery)