Sunday, November 14, 2010

A tale of three cities

This week's three-dot monsterpiece comes from a 15-to-20-year-old group of 3x5 cards that I fished out of the washing machine soaking wet. Because of my fetish for Fount India ink, they were all crisply legible after they dried out.

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This is real music. There's no accordion part. (Roger Melone rehearsing the New Mexico Symphony Orchestra Chorus.)

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There are lots of groups you can go sing in and have fun. (Roger Melone again. He meant that some choruses are only about fun. I personally think singing with this group is about the most fun I've had in my entire life...once the sweating and working are out of the way.)

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Q: What's the difference between a soprano and a seamstress?
A: A seamstress tucks up frills.

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I gotta be stuff and do places! (JS 1995-06-30)

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Q: What's the difference between genius and stupidity?
A: Genius has its limits.

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If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we put them all there? (Brenda Santistevan, 1997-07-10)

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The only thing we have to fear is pheromones. (JS 1995-12-23)

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Who's got time to budget their time? (JS 1996-03-08)

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If your battle plan is going perfectly, you are in an ambush. (Early USENET)

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NM Tech Computer Science professor Victor Yodaiken always referred to our local supermarket as “The Produce Museum”. I have never bought a bag salad there that would last until the third day. Rumor has it that Socorro is the end of the line for three different produce delivery routes, so we get the stuff that nobody in Belen, Carrizozo, or T or C wanted.

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Neologism file: His optimism soon dwaned. (Steve Ingoglia, 1997-4-18; dwindled x waned.)

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Everybody misquotes these lines. I carefully transcribed them during my N thousandth viewing of Wizard of Oz.

“I have a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore.”
“Now I know we're not in Kansas anymore.”
“I keep forgetting we're not in Kansas.”

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Natalie Derrick: He was Baroque.
Jeff Rhoades: He had no Monet.

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Dump the notes, play the music. (John Murfin, 1996-02-24. John is an outstanding Celtic fiddler who knows approximately 10^13 fiddle tunes.)

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If you could teach your dogs to smoke, they wouldn't chew up your slippers. (John Murfin)

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It's too dark to see flashlights. (Becky Titus, at a Hop Canyon party.)

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I'm very attached to non-attachment. (Me, demonstrating how not to do Buddhism, to Magail Medina, 1995-8-2.)

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Is it still Monday again already? (JS 1996-02-01)

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We have three seasons every month: morning, afternoon, evening, and wrinkled. (JS, 1996-08-24; can't remember what inspired this but the 3x5 card has a note: “Overactive Surrealist gland.”)

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You're born a Patty, then you find the grill. (Jan Thomas)

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Less often than not. (JS 1997-06-12)

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Sub-pessimal. (JS, date unrecorded)

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Q: What do you get when you cross a Unitarian with a Jehovah's Witness?
A: Someone who rings your doorbell for no particular reason.

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Out one ear and in the other. (James Robnett, 1995-10-20)

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The trouble with the rat race is that if you win, you're still a rat. (Anonymous)

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Q: What's the difference between an oboe and an onion?
A: You cry when you're chopping up an onion.

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It's laudable to want to study your errors. But it helps if they aren't coming at you so thick and fast that you can't study them in isolation. (JS 1995-11-19)

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No matter how cynical you get, it's impossible to keep up. (Lily Tomlin)

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I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong. (Bertrand Russell)

1 comment:

Smooge said...

Hmmm I am pretty sure I heard some of those quotes from you back in 1989 or so..

"Less often than not."

particularly :).