Thursday, November 4, 2010

Three dots for Sister Sara

Excess will not be enough. (Director's advice to Jim Carrey before he made the life-action Grinch movie)

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So it's less of a tossup and more of a toss-off. (Anthony Martinez on XM's classical channel, before they merged with Sirius)

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Five stages of life:
  1. You believe in Santa Claus.
  2. You don't believe in Santa Claus.
  3. You are Santa Claus.
  4. You look like Santa Claus.
  5. You believe in Santa Claus again.

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I nom, therefore I om. (Nan Silvernail; 'om' rhymes with 'Mom'; reference to lolcats)

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Are you out of blinker fluid? (Encouragement to drivers who do not use their turn signals. "Turn signals are a sign of weakness," says Nan.)

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Q: What's the capital of Iceland?
A: $4.30.

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Focus on your own damn family. (Bumper sticker)

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A well-deserved inferiority complex. (Miriam Nadel)

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They're deep-frying everything on a stick these years at State Fairs. Here are some ideas I haven't seen yet:
  • Chitlins.
  • Kim chee.
  • Liver.
  • Lutefisk.

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It's a good thing the shoe bomber didn't hide anything in his ass.

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The little girl started to eat before the blessing. Grandpa admonished her, “In this house, we pray before we eat.”
“But Grandma's a good cook!” protested the little girl.
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I can tell you from long experience that one of the hardest things about choral singing, and especially solos, is knowing when to breathe. A prudent soloist will have required breaths marked in the part well ahead of performance, and perhaps some optional breaths marked that may or may not be used depending on one's wind and the tempo. Which leads to this story about a rising young soprano who shared a stage with one of the most experienced warhorses in all of opera.

RYS: Do you really need that many breaths to get through that?

MEW: Honey, it takes a lot more gas to run a Cadillac than a Volkswagen.

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